These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations…
“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
“His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity”
“I would not allow this employee to breed”
“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap”
“When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet”
“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle”
“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them”
“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot”
“This employee should go far, and the sooner the better”
“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together”
“A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus”
“He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless”
“He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier”
“He has knack for making strangers immediately”
“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room”
“If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one”
“A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens”
“A prime candidate for natural deselection”
“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it”
“Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming”
“Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it”
“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week”
“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change”
“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean”
“It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm”
“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled”
“Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes”
“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead”
I have a friend who spends all her time following a band to different gigs every night. She seems to be completely obsessed with this band, even going to far as to take a trip to England to be present while they played some pubs there. How they got a following in England is anybody’s guess, but I digress.
As far as I know this band isn’t that big, they’re playing in pretty small venues, such as bars in downtown Redlands. So not only does she make appearances at their performances, but she hangs out with them afterwards, they dedicate songs to her and call her family. These band members weren’t friends of hers before they started performing, and they didn’t know her at all.
Do I just not get it? Is it normal behavior to like a band this much? I can’t think of anything I enjoy this passionately.
Dawg! Get your money right, keep your money tight, and you’ll have a good night. Words to live by!
Be a real man! Be there for your peeps! Be strong for your lady and your baby!
Ladies do right by your man and he’ll do right for you!
I don’t with fake people, I’m real and I’m cutting out all the fake from my life!
Are you guys kidding me? What is it about an open forum with people supposedly listening that promotes people to give unwarranted life advice?
The problem with this is twofold.
1. You will be scrutinized, so more likely than not your advice will be dismissed out of hand because you aren’t following it yourself.
2. You’re rephrasing something we call common sense typically in a more simplistic manner than would need to be said. If you have to tell people these things then damn…
So at work if you walk into a bathroom and another guy is working in the handicap stall and it’s not an emergency then you pretend to wash your hands and locate another bathroom. Guy protocol is awesome.
